Movie Review: Tekken

Oh the joys of reading/writing about how another game-to-movie adaptation has been hashed from the brilliant minds of non-gamer Hollywood people.

Want to read about it? More after the jump…

First, let me start by saying that Tekken and I have a very special bond – I sometimes pick it over Street Fighter, I know, “Blasphemy!” but it’s true, Tekken is my favorite fighting video game and nothing will change that.

This movie, much like every game-to-movie adaptation, is a ridiculous failure with its sub-par writing and ridiculous “over-the-top” scenery. I would like to quote a good friend when he first saw this movie by saying “when will writers learn that the stories already exist? All you need to do is bring them out”. And I couldn’t agree more… why, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO US, HOLLYWOOD?!

The movie starts off with a voice-over of  “Jin” kinda explaining what’s going on in the world, The Mishima Corporation, which we learn that there’s no such thing, but rather a multitude of different corporations that control the world! The whole world has been divided by these corporations… wait, where’s Mishima Corporation? IT’S NOW CALLED TEKKEN! And where is said corporation located? Oh yes, of course! TEKKEN CITY!!! How very original!!

I’ve been trying real hard to understand why they keep doing this, but obviously with every new game turned to movie there’s just new reasons why these always fail.

It’s really hard to hold my tongue and not just rant and rant like a fanboy about how this is just another theatrical failure – but it’s only a true failure thanks to the poor writing… the action was great! The fighting was fantastic, but why do they think that something like this was going to be 100% successful when the people that WILL see this movie are all fans of the game and expect to see it done justice? I guess we’ll never know.

I’d like to write more about this, but all I can say from here on in are the pros and cons (as if what I’ve written wasn’t enough).

Pros:

  • Actors meet the characters
  • Fighting was fantastic
  • Idea was great

Cons:

  • The story was just WAY off
  • Post apocalyptic style of world
  • All the little changes made to characters and events in the game that make TEKKEN what it is
  • Yeah, that’s all I have to truly have to say without sounding like an even bigger fanboy